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In my final term of high school, I came down with an unnamed viral infection. My headmistress commented: ‘We know you wouldn’t have any emotional problems, you’re such a happy well-balanced girl.’ My heart sank. I knew I was sick because I was deeply unhappy, even though I couldn’t have told you why. My ‘happy well-balanced’ act was so polished that no one picked it up.

When I was six, I was sexually assaulted by a family ‘friend’. My parents failed to notice or acknowledge anything was amiss, and this person continued to be a regular visitor at our house. Six-year-old me drew six-year-old conclusions. The first was that I didn’t matter, my needs were of no importance. And then that the experience of abuse, which felt so very wrong, must have been my fault. To survive, my nervous system walled off the experience, blocking out what would otherwise be overwhelming. The good girl act was my way of coping. Falling ill in year 12 represented the first crack in this façade.

Through my adult life I have been working to assimilate and heal the impacts of this childhood trauma, both the assault on my young body and the sense of not being seen, not mattering. I have learned to be very gentle in this process, allowing what arises in my body, my emotions and mental state to dictate the pace of healing rather than either pushing too hard or avoiding what is calling out for attention.

I am not alone in experiencing childhood trauma. Even without the experience of trauma many people have learned suppress their feelings and emotions as a survival strategy. If this sounds like you, please know that I am committed to working to support you to both heal from trauma, and to re-claim belief in yourself. I practice as a homeopath and teach mindfulness practices based on self-compassion. Both modalities can support deep healing.

Homeopathy can help shift deep emotional blocks, helping to bring you back into a balanced state when overwhelm threatens. I have honed my knowledge and skills in the modality for over twenty years, supporting others who have suffered childhood trauma or other adverse emotional experience.

Meditation has been an anchor in my life for over forty years. In 2018 I trained to teach Mindful Self-Compassion and I now teach self-compassion and related practices to support you to soften the inner defences and enable gentle healing.